You know, I never saw myself getting married. I didn't have those little girl dreams of white dresses, or any of the other paraphernalia I see going on around weddings. All those flowers, those thingies you give the guests, the seating plans, the gift list, the choices of desserts, the fastidious designing of cakes. I can honestly say I didn't give it a thought. And now, watching a wedding on TV, I'm utterly bemused by the pageantry. There are speeches and some, frankly, dreadful singing. There are parents, there are, just so many things. I'm not a proper girl, I just don't get it.
At work, they're more likely to ask one of the blokes his opinions on cocktails and me my opinion on beer.
I think it's acceptable in late 40s to become that weird androgynous mix, to be neither male nor female, but just a person who, you know, breathes. Maybe I've grown into me. I think at 18 I and the same male characteristics I have now, the seeing in straight lines thing, and not really understanding fripperies around the sides. Nearing 50, maybe I'm finally socially acceptable?
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