Fit for

There's a ground swelling of people who think people on bikes have no place on our roads. It's unsafe, it's not right, people get in the way of people in motor vehicles and it slows the whole system down, brings our cities to a halt.

Then there are people on foot who think people on bikes have no place on the pavements - even shared pavements. I've been dawdling along at walking pace and been gesticulated and shouted at and told to get on the road even though the sign was there. I was alarmed and puzzled, and have never ridden that shared path ever again. I ride in the road, an unpleasantly narrow bit of road with many people in cars in it.

Then there's the Canal and River people who recently wrote to say that the towpaths are not the place for commuting by bicycle.  They, apparently are a destination, not part of a journey and if you want to make a journey you should be on the road.

Because of the choices I freely confess I've made, in where I live and where I work and the distance between them, much of my ability to fit exercise into my day is tied up with my cycle commute. Fitness is how I stay sane, how I stay healthy, how I avoid obesity at the age of 49. It has started to feel like I'm making a selfish choice, this reliance on cycle commuting to maintain mental and physical health. I feel selfish for my commuting choice of preference, my bicycle, because quite clearly, my choices are affecting other people in a negative way. I shouldn't be there, on the bike travelling to work. This makes me feel sad, and feel trapped.

I still have choices. I can change job, or the way I do my job, or I can move house. I like where I live far more than I like where I work. I can't bring myself to live near to my workplace, the area is rough and it's too far from the hills, and I'm selfish, I want to be near the hills.

I genuinely don't know what to change.